Inhabiting

Until 2020, my photography focused on others as subjects. During the Covid-19 pandemic, I turned my camera onto myself, playing the role of creative director and model. I began a self portrait project exploring themes of belonging not just in a physical house and family, but within my clothing and my own skin – searching the places I hide. I chose to take on this project as a dare, despite my discomfort looking in the mirror let alone photographing myself. As a recovered anorexic, there has been a self loathing at the center of a life I created to survive and become a high functioning woman. This is compounded by my first generation Indian American identity, often leaving me without belonging in either culture. Unlocking my artist self on both sides of the camera allowed me to take risks I had never done. What I found was terrifying, ugly and beautiful in one fell swoop, ultimately offering me the most profound healing, loving and acceptance I hadn't realized was even possible. This self portrait represents surrender and completely inhabiting myself after a journey of shedding. It was an image I woke up with in the middle of the night as an answer to the question: is there something more I am inhabiting within myself?